Everyone wants a healthy and happy relationship, but not all couples know how to get to this point. Individually, you each may be great people, but together, something always comes up to drive one or both of you crazy. There are many signs he wants something serious when you just want to be friends. Once you have agreed on the terms of your relationship, there are big mistakes everyone seems to make.
Here are 12 of the biggest relationship mistakes we make, and what to do instead.
1. Personal Space
Everyone needs a little “me” time, but someone who loves you may not want to give you the space you need, simply because they love you. If your partner is in a bad mood or doesn’t want to talk about something, leave them alone.
When they are ready to talk, they will. You need to be confident in the fact that everything they do, say, and experience is not about you. Give them space and they will be more receptive to opening up later on.
2. Talking With the Opposite Sex
Do not flip out when your partner talks with someone of the opposite sex. Doing so is about you and your confidence rather than him or her talking with someone else.
You need to be confident in the knowledge that this person loves and wants to be with you. When they speak with someone else, it is not about wanting to be with that person.
You fell in love with your partner because they were open and friendly, so don’t condone that trait in them after you are together.
3. Having Your Own Life
Do not make your partner your entire life. You need to have interests and friends outside of the relationship. You may want to spend every waking hour with your partner, but that is not healthy for a relationship.
Know that when you spend time apart, your absence makes the heart grow fonder. This means they will have a chance to miss you and want to be with you even more.
4. Not Appreciating Them
When you do not appreciate the other person, they will begin to feel neglected, and they may seek to find love somewhere else. Do not concentrate on what the person is not done for you and appreciate what they are doing for you.
Be grateful they help out after a long day at work. Appreciate that they allow you to choose the movie and place to eat. These may sound like little things, and they sometimes are. But when you appreciate everything about your partner, you will both be happier.
5. Trying to Change Them
You will not succeed if you are trying to change your partner. The only way he or she will change is if they want to, not because you want them to change.
When you fall in love with someone, you fall in love with them “as is” and you can’t think they will change the one, or more, things you don’t like. They are who they are and you will need to accept that or move on.
6. Passing on Your Insecurities
It is not your partner’s fault that you do not feel your best. When you constantly ask your partner if he or she likes this or that on you, including how you act, they will become worn down. The same could be said about your insecurity about them leaving you for someone new. Don’t allow what you are worried about becomes a relationship problem.
Work on your own insecurities. Be the best you can be, and the relationship will be stronger.
7. Being Whiny/Bitter/Grouchy
If you are constantly complaining, your partner will not want to be around you anymore. When you complain, are angry at every little thing and generally grouchy, you turn off the people closest to you.
Try practising gratitude. Be thankful for what you have and not what you don’t have. Live more in the moment and not in the past. Don’t worry about the small stuff like someone in traffic or things you have no control over.
Concentrate on what is here and now and you will become a better, more grounded person.
8. Nagging
When you constantly correct or tell your partner what to do, they begin to think of you as their parent, not as their equal. Now, depending on how they felt about their parents, they will feel the same about you, and it won’t be healthy.
9. Going too Fast
When you are first in a relationship, you need to allow things to go at a natural pace. Don’t rush things. When you do, you may miss things like learning something important about your new partner.
10. Remain Loving
It is easy to take each other for granted and not be loving towards each other when things are getting hectic. Try to always take the time to show true affection and love.
And remember, men and women, show love in different ways. Find out how your partner likes to have love expressed and stick to it. It may be through food or flowers, but whatever it is, it should be done with love.
11. Being Passive Aggressive
Be straightforward with your partner. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t say you are “fine” when you are not. This will only feed resentment and foster a hostile atmosphere.
12. Letting Yourself Go
When you have no interest in taking care of yourself, you send a signal to your partner that you don’t care about them either. Take care of yourself, get help if you think you need it. Be kind to yourself and act as if you deserve kindness because you do. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and your partner will learn what you want and like.
Everyone makes mistakes in a relationship, but it doesn’t have to be the end. Learn and grow from things that go wrong and continue to love one another.