A couple of days ago I was in a circle of some guys that lives in Europe at a pub in Rotterdam. In the chat, all they talked about was how, what, who, when, where, they have had sex. One of the stories I heard that night was incredibly awful, one of the men was bragging about how he has been sleeping with his friend’s wife. Also how he has successfully slept with most young African girls in his town! Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t surprise at this at all, I am getting used to this line of discussions.

I remember the first time I got myself involved in this kind of discussion, I was so uncomfortable, and I even tried steering the discussion to another topic. You know that thing we do to divert a topic, the only response from one of the men to the new topic was ‘éhen’ and he went straight back to how he slept with some guys wife and how to lose the woman is etc.

It’s amazing what African men find interesting nowadays especially those in diasporas. It is a general believe that women gossip. Really I don’t know what else women talk about aside material things and other women, but if it is anything close to what these men gist about in the pub! That will be a problem.

Writing this piece was a challenge because it’s not in anyone’s place to determine what people talk about while hanging out. But when our discussions and actions are slowing down our impact, then someone needs to speak out.

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However, I could not help but think about this, why is the issue of sex the only thing men wants to talk about? Everything that surrounds them is about sex. Their travels, movies, parties, health, cars, and even the reason some men work so hard is to eventually get laid! Another question that kept tossing in my head is what has happened to the great African male values? Those values that direct male conversations to issues of the community, honour, bravery, survival, and respect for women.

After considering the challenging situation of African migrants in Europe, one would have thought that African men only discuss survival and how to build a formidable community of African immigrants. But no! We rather have a heated discussion about loose women in our community and how to get into their pants!

Com’on! African Men… What is wrong with us? At what point did we lose our value for collectivism and respect for ourselves and our women?

The ‘he’ goat was famous for humping every ‘she’ goat it came across, even when he does that it still recognise priorities, and respect for the community. I am not by any means calling anybody a ‘he’ goat. All I am trying to say here is that there is a great need to respect our women and let’s be more focus on the bigger picture which to my opinion is the future of generations to come. We are here now, let’s a make a good use of this opportunity.

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By Lagdude.

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